In 2016 when Donald Trump won the presidency, I was disappointed. I didn’t really have an interest in Hilary or Donald but felt Hilary would be better than Trump. I have watched Trumps behavior in the debates and his rhetoric throughout the campaign season and found him not to be a likeable person. I believe it is one thing to possess character and it’s another thing to be a character, if you know what I mean.
In the days after trump was elected, I kept thinking Lord give me strength to make it through these next four years. I then transitioned into a frame of thought that I would give him a chance. I thought maybe winning the election would have an impact on him and he would be and act more mature. To me throughout his campaign he sounded like a whining child, always the victim and never taking accountability. Let me not digress.
I now realize I had experienced the 5 stages of grief and loss in the 2016 election. The five stages are: (1) Denial and Isolation (2) Anger (3) Bargaining (4) Depression and (5) Acceptance. Doctors in the Psychology field say people often vacillate between the stages until they reach the final stage of acceptance. I think for me in 2016, I spent the bulk of my time in anger and bargaining. Even in the acceptance stage and throughout the Trump Presidency anger would spring up, but I did believe and accept he was the president. Just because I accepted his presidency didn’t mean I had to Like it.
Fast forward to 2020, the official election day was November 3, 2020. We had been warned that we would most likely not know who won the Presidential election until days after the election was over. On November 7, 2020, Joe Biden was announced as the President Elect by several news outlets. This time I was glad and excited. I wouldn’t have to go through the emotional feelings I experienced in 2016. I also knew and understood that nearly half the country would have to deal with the five stages of grief and loss I experienced in 2016.
What is so different this time is the candidate I voted for in 2016 acknowledged defeat right after the election.
This year 2020, we have a president vacillating between stage (1) Denial and Isolation and stage (2) Anger. Because he’s stuck in these two stages it has rendered many of his supporters the inability to move beyond these two stages. The people who are around him and support him feed into the narrative of denial and anger. They are not helping him or the many Trump supporters around the country.
When the Leader of the country refuses to move forward into acceptance it impedes the ability of a nation to move into acceptance. Acceptance has to take place in order for the healing process to begin. Given the comments and tweets from our current president, it is apparent, he is incapable at this time of moving beyond denial and anger.
Conversely, when a person becomes stuck in denial and anger, they have to feed it with delusional thoughts. When no one close to the person is willing to speak the truth to them, the delusion grows grandiose lies and contempt for the truth. It’s sad because many of Trumps supporters will be stuck in the two stages well after the Biden presidency is over.
We all know and understand the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it is a family member or a friend the pain can pierce the heart. This election has had the same effect on a huge number of people in our country. But just the same as when a loved one passes; we move to the point of acceptance. It does not eliminate the pain, but it makes it bearable. Overtime it becomes livable. But if we never accept the loss we will never heal. If there is not a friend to help people see the truth, those who are stuck will never heal.
What we need now is acceptance of the truth. What we need now as a nation is to heal. It starts with compassion. Accepting a “L” is not easy, but it’s not the end. We need to give President Elect Biden a chance. I gave Donald Trump a chance and he never grew into the president he could have been because of himself. Now, we need to give Joe Biden a chance to help this deeply divided country heal.